My High Fidelity Moment

The ruggedly handsome Riddley Walker (pictured above) has tagged me with the task of listing Five Goals. He was tagged by the scrumptious Emily. She was tagged by someone else, who was tagged by another person, and so on and so forth. The cool kids call this a meme.

I say it's the internets way of making you gay. And if it weren't for the fact that this'll probably get me laid, I wouldn't be doing it. So without further ado, here are my Five Goals:

• Become a Professional Screenwriter: This is the obvious one. I want people to pay me to put my brain-juice down on paper. I want to write character driven dramas one year, and then do an adaptation of DC Comics' Lobo the next. I also want to work on shows like Entourage where I can wave my dick jokes around. I just want to write.
  

• Direct: In the footsteps of Kevin Smith and Quentin Tarantino, I would like to eventually direct my own features. I want to be involved in every aspect of making my own films - from writing it, to directing it, to editing it. Quick, someone give me $30,000 and Jason Mewes - I'm ready.

• Craft an Advertising Campaign for Coke and Nike: There was a time when I loved Advertising and chose it as my career. So while I may have given up on it to pursue this whole screenwriting thing, there's still a big part of me that wants to develop Coke and Nike campaigns. Those two companies in particular - nobody else.

• Have a Family: This one may come as a surprise to most of you. Hell, it surprises me. Now that I'm about to turn 30 this year, I can't help but start thinking about the prospect of actually having a family. Will I miss putting my penis inside a different woman? Sure, who wouldn't - but as I get older, the idea of settling down becomes more and more appealing. I want to have kids who I can corrupt. A wife who I can ignore. It's really all very romantic.

• Get Fit: I'm stealing this one from Riddley. I'd like to get in shape. There's really not much more to say than that.
  

• Super Secret Sixth Goal: Fuck the rules, I'm adding a sixth goal. I want to win a major poker tournament. Poker has always been a hobby of mine, and I'd like to see myself on television winning one of these tournaments. It would also help finance me in making my own movies - double win.

There it is, my High Fidelity moment.

The rules state that I must pass this task on to some of you, so those of you listed below, please get cracking on making your own little gay list:

• Scott the Reader
• Annabel
• Ricker
• Matt Hader
• One Slack Martian

screenwriting