It's been too long now that I've kept this secret from the world. Too long. I've kept it in for all these years, bowing my head in shame whenever the topic has come up. I've lied to those I love in order to conform to their preconceived notions of me. This web of deceit has gone on long enough - it's time to set the record straight.I'm Coming Out.
I know there's more of you out there, pandering for the acceptance of intellectual hipsters. So I do this today not just for myself, but for all of you who have yet to find your voice. Say it with me.
American Beauty sucked.
I Heart Huckabees sucked.
Lost in Translation sucked.
God, that feels good. No more will I have to abashedly nod in agreement with you at cocktail parties when you ramble on and on about these films. Never again will I change the subject to avoid your awkward stares. Today is my independence day.
I am a free man.
Free from the tyranny of peer pressure to adore these films. Free from the weight of your pseudo-intellectual fandom. Free of the shackles preventing me from yelling out, "I love a good popcorn flick!"
I am your slave no more, hipsters.
5 comments:
Wow, I'm sure a great weight has been lifted . . . but how did your parents take it?
I didn't see American Beauty (should I hang my head in shame?).
I Heart Huckabees did suck.
Lost in Translation is one of the best movies I have ever seen.
My father said I was dead to him - that he no longer had a son. My mother just stood at the door and cried.
I love American Beauty, dislike Huckabee's have a hatred of Lost in Translation that I usually reserve for racism and genocide.
So, we all gots our opinions.
I liked all three, although I'll never watch Huckabees again. And I hate Michael Bay movies. Guess that makes me a bad person. I'm okay with that.
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