Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Anonymous Douchebaggery and Me!

I love the smell of pussy in the morning.

And not just the kind with freshly shaven hair, either.

The kind with pent up, latent homosexual rage and a hard on for moi.

That's quite alright, though. It gives them some purpose in life - and who am I to deny them that? Hate on, little fella. Hate on.

My friendly neighborhood cockbag who's been leaving the comments does have a point, however.

I haven't been accomplishing very much lately.

In fact, I haven't written a word in months.

The fact that Annabel still puts up with me is a testament to her patience, because I can't even bring myself to put a single word down on paper. Even the thought of blogging makes me cringe.

They say writer's write. And if that's the case, maybe I'm not a writer after all.

I've made a promise to finish the current script we're working on. And whatever it takes, I'll finish it.

But beyond that? I don't know.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Eyes Wide Shut

I kept wondering what would be an appropriate comeback post after such a long hiatus, and I think I've finally figured out.


See, about a year or so ago, something really strange started happening to my body. Something that had never happened before, and something that defied explanation.

Whenever my champagne cork pops, my eyes squeeze shut. You know how you do when you taste something sour or when your eye stings? Yeah. Like that.

During climax.

This isn't such a big deal when you're with a steady girlfriend, because let's face it, she already knows I'm crazy and do weird shit - so she hasn't even asked what's going on.

But I started wondering what would happen when I finally break up with Ruth and start dating someone new?

That's gonna be a really awkward sexing.

Is she going to wonder if I hated it? Is she going to think something got in my eye?

I'm going to scar the poor girl into thinking she's got a sour pussy.

It wouldn't be the first time.