Monday, October 1, 2007

Trannys and Fornication

My month of work is finally coming to a close, and I'm once again free to regale you with tales of debauchery and mayhem.

But that's later.

Today I want to talk about television.

First, let's get the chicks with dicks out of the way.

Hot Shots and Dirty Sexy Money, both which premiered this week, featured a transsexual cast member.

Now I'm not really interested in discussing the merits of these shows, but I am fascinated by their decision to finally recognize vaginoplasty in the credits.

Did someone send out a memo that the new taboo, edgy thing to have on network television was a shemale?

Are Neo-Vaginas the new black?

More importantly, were these the best looking shemales they could find? Because I can assure you, a quick drive down Santa Monica Blvd (or Western, if you're on a budget) at night would yield you better results.

I hate to be a tranny snob here, but get your transgendered act together, network television - give me some eye candy if you're gonna include a hulking cock under that dress.

Now onto my favorite new show on television - Californication.

When I originally watched Californication, I couldn't wait to blog about it. It was as if Showtime had reached into my psyche, plucked out my innermost thoughts and handed them to David Duchovny with a pair of brads.

The show is, without a doubt, brilliantly written. The casting is phenomenal, and the acting is superb.

Every week I'm humbled by how well-written it is.

That said, I feel the need to point out that I feel a little bait & switched by it.

The first few episodes gave promise of a show that not only had assloads of gratuitous sex, but interweaved above said fornication with brilliant writing.

Sadly, this was not the case.

After only the second episode, the fornication in Californication dropped drastically. Plummeted, in fact.

And while the show is still amazing, and something everyone should watch - if for nothing else than its writing - I still can't help but feel a little robbed by this vaginal vanishing act.

Like Barry Bonds, Californication is going to have a little asterisk next to its name for eternity unless the boobs return.

Bring back the boobs, Showtime.

Even if they come with a cock.


Anonymous said...

Man, you gotta get off the tranny train...or on it, as the case may be.

Whatever gets you to sleep, Crash.

This new 'transsexual phase' is an obvious attempt to create controversy to boost ratings. It'll fade soon.

Stercus Accidit

p.s. I agree about the chicks' looks, though. I'd rather see trannies that could fool 'real' women.

IQCrash said...

I can't ride the fence with the trannys? Why do I have to be on or off the train?

Everything is not black or white, Stercus. ;)

Earl Newton said...

Speaking of shows that promised tranny-tasms and never delivered...

Isn't it a shame Mr. Rogers isn't on the air anymore?

(Don't tell me you didn't see it coming. Didn't you notice how Mr. McFeely only brings "special deliveries" to the back door?)

Anonymous said...

I am too cheap to have HBO and Showtime running simultaneous... will have to wait until Netflix offers the rentals

Christina Shaver said...

I am completely drunk-dialing your blog right now. What the f are you doing not poasting in what, more than a week?

Dude, if you are a writer adn all, you need to be POASTING!!!!

I want to read what you have to sayl. I dont' care if it's about trannies or whatever the f is the next big thang you got going. Bercuase for the most part you say it, and you say it funny.l and that entertains me. And there are certain times I like to be entertained. Especially when I'm drunk OMA (off my mother f'in A!!!!) and have nothing better to do than to try to sober up lisetning to somebydoy by-atch about frriken TV.

What is it called when you drunk dial somebody? I think there needs to b something for drunk commentiong.

Remindless, I think I speak for all 5 of your readers when I say if you're going with the moniker "the last blog you're ever going to want to read" or some kind of bs in those actually need to PUBLISH things to read.

Okay? I siad muy drunk peace. I will regret this mayb in the morning. Or maybe not. Maybe it's actrually high-larious and I need to get my butt over to second city. doubtful. You should start a site called the doubtful writer. You know, about a writer who is doubtful about the whole biz but has a forum where other doubtful writers can come together and sing kumbyha. Or whater the h that song is.


Christina Shaver said...

And by the way, it is TRANNIES. Not trannYes. If you want to pluralate a word that ends in y, you need to drop kick that y like it's a bad itch and replace it with IES. Please see the following:

IQCrash said...

lol Sorry Christina, been a hectic couple weeks - I promise to get back to blogging soon. :)