Resolutions, Bright and Early

Who knew this would be so difficult? This is now my second third page one rewrite on this post.

Maybe it's because I'm not used to trying to form coherent thoughts this early.

I've never been one to get into the whole New Year's Resolution thing, but I'm nothing if not conformist - so here I am, resolutions in hand.

Only two of them:

1 - Write for an hour a day. I've talked about how much I hate to write ad nauseum, so I'm not going to get into this one too much. Suffice it to say that I'm going to try to write for an hour a day - every day. We both know there's no chance in hell I'll actually be able to do this for any length of time, but sometimes it's fun to pretend.

2 - Stop trying to get into shape and actually fucking do it.

There's a lot in my life I don't talk about in this blog - despite it not seeming that way. One of those things is this stupid, lifelong struggle to get into shape. It's such a cliche and something I should have been able to do years ago, but I underachieve like a mother fucker.

I even had surgery, thinking it'd just take care of the problem for me. But life is never that easy, is it?

Fucking life. Full of adversity and contradictions.

I've set up a calender, directly across from my desk - each day has been divided into two halves. There's two highlighters hanging next to the calender. One pink. One yellow. I'm not ashamed of using gay markers.

A day gets filled in with yellow if I actually write for an hour, and with pink if I manage not to stuff my face with that last Cheeto.

So let's do this, people. It's a new year.

Let's get all fucking excited and act like we're going to make huge, sweeping changes in our lives so that we feel like shit in six months when we realize we can't change who we are.

Who's with me?